May11
MMS from dad that read: “Wish the light would hurry up and change.”
Oct20
he's not wrong.
- Dad: I think I'm about to be obsessed with Whip My Hair
- Dad: I tried to resist. Just watched the video. She looks just like Will as a tiny tranny
Aug11
antoine dodson’s daily agenda
To Do List:
- Hide kids
- Hide wife
- Hide husbands
- Look for and find U.
Jun4
i had to take that one twice.
- Dad: [redacted]'s fb status. Code blue.
- Me: HONESTLY
- Me: what test did she fail?
- Dad: I have no idea. Think it was the SIMLWLT.
- Me: Which is?
- Dad: Standardized Is My Life Worth Living Test
- Me: LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
Jan17
next up: Dad gets a blowout
- Me: Did you see 30 Rock last night?
- Dad: No... I think I fell asleep.. Actually, I don't know what happened last night.
- (five minutes later... I casually mention that someone from our church looks like a Guido)
- Dad (memory jogged): Ahh I think this is why I missed 30 Rock.
- Me: Why? You were watching Jersey Shore?!!?
- Dad: Yes. (laughing) I watched the entire episode.
Dec5
teen mom defense league ACTIVATE!
- Me: Where's mom?
- Dad: In the dining room having a meeting.
- Me: Oh. About what?
- Dad: Sex.
- Me: Come again?
- Dad: It's about sex and all of the--and I'll use the proper term here--bastards in the church.
Nov25
Dad: “That child is ruined.”
Nov6
i'm needy
- Dad: i gotta go. was just about to shut down. have a faculty council meeting to attend.
- Me: okk
- Dad: may chat during meeting. most of it will be boring and useless. but don't quote me on that.
- Me: tell them i said hello
- MAKE THEM KNOW ME
- Dad: k. they asked about you last time. you're on the agenda.
- Me: perf!!
- Dad: right after the minutes "hellos from/to lauren smith"
Nov5
al for short
- me: facebook suggested i poke a dead girl
- Dad: way to go al g. rithm.
- me: what's up w/ your keyboard
- Dad: whaddya mean?
- me: oh that was a joke HAHAH I GET IT NOW
- Dad: thank you.
- me: i was like you spelled algorithm wrong
Oct21
is weirdness a dominant or recessive trait?
- Me: i wish i had had the foresight to invite someone to come w/ me
- Me: i'm a loner
- Me: creepy loner
- Dad: my apologies, again, for your gene structure.
- Me: accepted
